If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Randomize
