dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
I'm both gender and math confused
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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