Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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