You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
