she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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