He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
He passed out mid-signature
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
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