I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
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