You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
