I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
These tits shall not be calmed
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
