When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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