I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
