The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
