my mouth tastes like poor choices
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
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I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
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