i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Let's paint friendship bongs
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
They have beer where we have blood.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Randomize
