her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
