No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
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