We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
