i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize