yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
