well I can't set my house on fire every night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize