I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
