TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
