I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Randomize
