Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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