He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
You're a waste of cheezeits
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
