Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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