So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
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He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
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Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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