I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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