Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
