just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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