It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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