he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
