So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
