ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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