wat bout pragnant strippers??
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
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