I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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