Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
