I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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