What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
