You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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