It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
