Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
