id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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