My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
So many bounce houses so little time
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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