This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
