Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
