My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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