my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
