Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I use my feet as sexual weapons
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
