He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
