In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
