So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need to align my fucking chakras
Randomize