it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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