i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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