He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
