the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
