We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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