Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
birth control should be required to get into college
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
