As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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