i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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