even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
