Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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